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Leaves of Hawthorne

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

8:50PM - Repulsive Gravity

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.

Sometimes, he felt like it wasn't so much that gravity was pinning him to the Earth but instead the universe was somehow repelling him and pressing him against the planet. He counted this as just another unspoken facet of his daily paranoias until he went to hear MIT's Dr. Alan Guth talk about cosmic inflation. The lecture itself was very much over his head, but the notion of 'repulsive gravity' had been mentioned and even though he knew that he was misapplying the concept, it still hit him with a jolt of recognition. He was so strangely relieved that he wanted to tell someone about it, but the whole reason he'd attended the stupid lecture in the first place was to impress this leggy blonde whom he'd learned was going and who had started gushing about how wonderful the whole lecture had been as soon as they'd left the auditorium, and he didn't think that she'd be too impressed by his sole take-away. Although he was beginning to think that he wasn't all that interested in trying to impress her anymore; after all, what good was a leggy blonde if it took a Ph.D. and a theory of universal expansion to turn her on?

Current mood: guth-gushing

(let the light filter through)

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

1:47AM - NaNoWriMo - 0.65%

With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere.
~Peter Fleming~

Official NaNoWriMo 2005 Participant

327/50000 ( = 0.65%)
[8 min]

The distance doesn't matter; it is only the first step that is the most difficult.
~Marie du Deffand, referring to the legend of Saint Denis, who is traditionally believed to have carried his severed head for six miles after his execution.

Current mood: creative

(1 bough-born twig | let the light filter through)

Saturday, June 18, 2005

3:20PM - has become home

Two Renga, Untitled
both by the monk Sougi, English translations by Steven D. Carter

Hito wo yume to ya
sumi suteshi,
sono wa kochou no
yadori nite

That man's life is but a dream -
is what we now come to know.

Its house abandoned,
the garden has become home
to butterflies.


suzushisa wa
mizu yori fukashi
aki no sora

Ah, for coolness,
it rivals the water's depth -
this autumn sky.

Current mood: renga

(let the light filter through)

Thursday, June 16, 2005

10:54AM - ReAwakening

Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch, yawn, mmm. Nice nap, that. Hm, looks like I've been sleeping since, oh...September 7th. That is indeed a goodly sleep. But now I am refreshed and unwearied and returned.

I think this shall herald a new age of this journal. I will continue with the old postings of poems, my own and of others, lyrics that strike me as poetry. I will publically work out and ask for help with my current writing project. I will post book reviews, and maybe CD reviews (rarer). Reviews will all be lj-cut, for those who can't stand them. Lyrics will likely be lj-cut, too. Poems -- depends on length. We'll play it by ear, shall we?

But who is still around, and who will care that this is back, and do you want it back?

Current mood: querysome

(5 bough-born twigs | let the light filter through)

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

10:41PM - Such a sudden feeling, this

Such a sudden feeling, this
Preemptive loneliness.
Didn’t realize there was a horizon in my hand’s lifeline;
Didn’t realize there was a time I’d watch you disappear over it,
A wavering silhouette burned away against the slipping sun.
Touches my retina, leaves a print on my mind.
And you know, it’s not really about me. It’s all about you.
And I love that, I am excited to pass this on, to let you go, to be this
Nostalgic remnant.
Still near enough to be, somewhat, active.
Close enough for it to hurt so deeply.
I am a star dead and distant, and I went out in my blaze of passion and
Here I am, the ember of that supernova.
There’s a cycle, inherent to this new orbit, this new pull in this new void.
There will be a rebirth, here in this new pulse of darkness.
But as the ashes fleck away and I wait to burn again, there are all these stars
Shining away in the distance
And really, it does seem that I could just reach out and touch you
But like the stars rushing away, you are so far beyond…
Just traveling this one way street. Just passing along this timeline.
Just wishing I could linger there, with all of you.
All the time in the world to prepare, and so soon it comes and strikes one
Such a sudden feeling, this sadness, this letting go, this
Letting be gone.

Current mood: blank

(let the light filter through)

Saturday, August 21, 2004

9:01PM - (((let the caller and the called disappear)))

Life is mostly froth and bubble;
Two things stand like stone,
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own.
~Adam Lindsay Gordon~

Be Lost in the Call

Lord, said David, since you do not need us,
why did you create these two worlds?

Reality replied: O prisoner of time,
I was a secret treasure of kindness and generosity,
and I wished this treasure to be known,
so I created a mirror: its shining face, the heart;
its darkened back, the world;
The back would please you if you've never seen the face.

Has anyone ever produced a mirror out of mud and straw?
Yet clean away the mud and straw,
and a mirror might be revealed.

Until the juice ferments a while in the cask,
it isn't wine. If you wish your heart to be bright,
you must do a little work.

My King addressed the soul of my flesh:
You return just as you left.
Where are the traces of my gifts?

We know that alchemy transforms copper into gold.
This Sun doesn't want a crown or robe from God's grace.
He is a hat to a hundred bald men,
a covering for ten who were naked.

Jesus sat humbly on the back of an ass, my child!
How could a zephyr ride an ass?
Spirit, find your way, in seeking lowness like a stream.
Reason, tread the path of selflessness into eternity.

Remember God so much that you are forgotten.
Let the caller and the called disappear;
be lost in the Call.

Current mood: find your way

(let the light filter through)

Thursday, August 19, 2004

11:02PM - And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
~William Congreve~

When I Was a BoyCollapse )

Current mood: it's a secret I can keep

(let the light filter through)

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

2:36PM - in thy heart what human sympathies (what soft compassion glows)

When love first tasted the lips of being human, it started singing.
~Jelaluddin Rumi~

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tuscan, that wanderest through the realms of gloom,
With thoughtful pace, and sad, majestic eyes,
Stern thoughts and awful from thy soul arise,
Like Farinata from his fiery tomb.
Thy sacred song is like the trump of doom;
Yet in thy heart what human sympathies,
What soft compassion glows, as in the skies
The tender stars their clouded lamps relume!
Methinks I see thee stand, with pallid cheeks,
By Fra Hilario in his diocese,
As up the convent-walls, in golden streaks,
The ascending sunbeams mark the day's decrease;
And, as he asks what there the stranger seeks,
Thy voice along the cloister whispers, "Peace!"

Current mood: with pallid cheeks

(let the light filter through)

Sunday, July 25, 2004

9:28PM - who watches over you?

He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.
His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.
~Song of Solomon 2:4-6; King James Bible

Since I heard this song at the concert yesterday, it's been in my head, so I figured it deserved a highlight here. Cut out of kindness! As per the usual.

Birdhouse in your SoulCollapse )

Current mood: too fine a point on it

(1 bough-born twig | let the light filter through)

Thursday, July 22, 2004

10:16PM - How I hate the night

He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belov'd by men
He who the Ox to wrath has movd
Shall never be by Woman lov'd.
~William Blake~

Marvin's Lullaby
"Marvin", a.k.a. Douglas Adams, in Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head,
I can see by infrared,
How I hate the night.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.

Current mood: infrared

(let the light filter through)

Sunday, July 4, 2004

3:24PM - pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations

The second day of July 1776 will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America...It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward, forevermore.
~John Adams~

This Fourth of July is yours, not mine. You may rejoice, I must mourn. To drag a man in fetters into the grand illuminated temple of liberty, and call upon him to join you in joyous anthems, were inhuman mockery and sacrilegious irony.
~Frederick Douglass~

Well, Happy Fourth of July, all! Hope it's fun, wherever you are and whatever you may be doing. Two quotations and a poem today, ooh...I need a website to host pics on, I have some great pictures of kids with sparklers from a party last night that I would've added to this bounty of...stuff. :)

Concord Hymn
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sung at the Completion of the Concord Monument, 4 July 1837

By the rude bridge that arched the flood,
Their flag to April's breeze unfurled,
Here once the embattled farmers stood,
And fired the shot heard round the world.

The foe long since in silence slept;
Alike the conqueror silent sleeps;
And Time the ruined bridge has swept
Down the dark stream which seaward creeps.

On this green bank, by this soft stream,
We set to-day a votive stone;
That memory may their deed redeem,
When, like our sires, our sons are gone.

Spirit, that made those heroes dare
To die, or leave their childern free,
Bid Time and Nature gently spare
The shaft we raise to them and thee.

Current mood: the shot heard round the world

(let the light filter through)

Monday, June 28, 2004

7:45PM - Fils, apprends comme on me nomme

I mourn for that most lonely thing; and yet God's will be done:
I knew a phoenix in my youth, so let them have their day.
~W. B. Yeats~

I was reminded of a poem I liked (in English, never took French) because an artist I'm a fan of illustrated the French version and I happened by her site and re-read it. La Coccinelle, as formed by Erika , if you're interested (you should be!). It's a lovely little poem, really. I'd love to be able to read it in French. Ah well!

The FrenchCollapse )

The EnglishCollapse )

Current mood: je me courbai sur la belle

(let the light filter through)

Saturday, June 26, 2004

10:15AM - Ka Pule a ka Haku

The poet gives us his essence, but prose takes the mould of the body and mind entire.
~Virginia Woolf~

Ka Pule a ka Haku
The Lord's Prayer, in Hawai'ian

E ko makou makua i loko o ka lani, e 'ano 'ia kou inoa.

E hiki mai kou a upuni.

E malama 'ia kou makemake ma ka honua nei, e like me ia i malama 'ia ma ka lani la.

E ha'awi mai ia ma kou i keia la i 'ai na makou no neia la.

E kala mai ho'i ia makou i ka makou lawehala 'ana, me makou e kala nei i ka po'e i lawehala i ka makou.

Mai ho'oku'u 'oe ia makou i ka ho'owalewale 'ia mai.

E ho'opakele no na'e ia makou i ka 'ino; no ka mea, noe ke aupuni, a me ka mana, a me ka ho'onani 'ia a mau loa aku.


Current mood: Amene

(1 bough-born twig | let the light filter through)

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

12:17PM - If gold ruste

If gold ruste, what shall iren do?
~Geoffrey Chaucer~

So I was struck with a notion last night, namely, a novel idea. No, not a new idea, well, it was, but -- I mean an idea for a novel.

If it worked, it could be great.

It's totally different -- genre, style, everything -- from anything I've attempted before.

I have a million unfinished writing projects on back burners right now.

This is the least complicated plot I've ever come up with, though. Because it's set in the here and now and non-fantastical and non-intrigue, per se. So while all those back burner projects are stalled for the moment, this should just flow.

Do I devote myself to this, writing-wise? I have time for writing now, after all. Or should I be using this time to un-stall those other projects, many of which I do adore and really want to finish?


Current mood: creative

(8 bough-born twigs | let the light filter through)

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

10:40PM - everyone here knows how to cry

Do I carry the moon in my pocket?
~Robert Browning~

Egads but I've been neglecting this journal, terrible sorry. Yes, I meant to not use the appropriate adverb there. Anyways. I let today's *stuff* be determined by random selection...with some power of choice from me, too, though. Fun song, sorta quirky, but good.

Ice CreamCollapse )

Current mood: it's a long way down

(let the light filter through)

Monday, May 17, 2004

10:22PM - when do we get to the part where I can go home?

Mutual Forgiveness of each Vice
Such are the Gates of Paradise.
~William Blake~

I love this song...heard it, mistook it at first for a totally different song that I don't like much, had to find it to really listen to the first part, and, well, loved it all. It often suits, you know?

At Least We're DreamingCollapse )

Current mood: I'm all right...

(let the light filter through)

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

11:19PM - might as well be dreaming

Don't go into Mr McGregor's garden: your Father had an accident there; he was put in a pie by Mrs McGregor.
~Beatrix Potter~

Out of the Woods
Nickel Creek

I wish you out of the woods
And into the picture with me.
I wish you over the moon,
Come out of the question and be.

If this going to
Run round in my head
I might as well be dreaming.
Run round in my head

I rollercoaster for you.
Time out of mind
Must be heavenly.
It's all enchanted and wild,
It's just like my heart said
It was going to be.

If this going to
Run round in my head
I might as well be dreaming.
Run round in my head

I wish you out of the woods
And into the picture with me.
I wish you over the moon,
Come out of the question and be.

If this going to
Run round in my head
I might as well be dreaming.
Run round in my head

Current mood: Run round in my head

(let the light filter through)

Friday, May 7, 2004

1:04AM - And I know now which is which and what angle I oughta look at it from

I pray thee leave, love me no more,
Call home the heart you gave me
I but in vain the saint adore,
That can, but will not, save me.
~Michael Drayton~

If only...

3 guesses as which way my thoughts are wandering these days. I'm not happy about that, but it's the way it is. Another suited song.

Invisible InkCollapse )

Current mood: maybe I wrote in invisible ink

(let the light filter through)

Thursday, May 6, 2004

2:24AM - weakened like achilles with you always at my heels

Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing,
And like enough thou know'st thy estimate:
The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing;
My bonds in thee are all determinate.
~William Shakespeare~

suddenly it makes some small part of sense.
if nothing else, you gave me this.


GhostCollapse )

Current mood: in love with your ghost

(let the light filter through)

Friday, April 30, 2004

2:56AM - I don’t want to touch your gloves anymore.

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
~Hermann Hesse~

Gloves and Chipped PaintCollapse )

Current mood: magnolias and jasper

(let the light filter through)

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